My 12-year-old daughter is a little overweight and has expressed interest in losing weight but doesn't want to exercise. I try to help her eat healthy but don't want to put her on a diet. Can you help me find a way to motivate her to exercise?

I hear your dilemma.

In working with children and pre-teens, one has to take a different approach to motivation and encouragement. As adults we are more result-oriented, thinking about the weight we may want to lose, for example, while working out. Children and teens, for better and for worse, live more in the present. They want to avoid boring activities, and may not think so much about long term goals as on the immediate rewards.

If you want your daughter to exercise more, try to take a positive approach. Find out what activites she likes, be creative, (learning hip hop dance is also exercise), and let her be in charge of her own exercise plan. If she wants to work out with you or your husband as a family, that's great, but she still needs to feel that she can do her own thing. Having buddies who exercise, whether it's walking, playing soccer, or being on the swim team, is a huge help.

The one most important thing to remember is that all of us -- and children and pre-teens in particular -- respond best to positive reinforcement. Every step she takes in the direction of more activity and exercise should be acknowledged and/or rewarded.

If you and your husband have a postitive attitude towards exercise (i.e. you don't treat it as a chore), she will be more likely to adopt that attitude also. In other words, rather than putting pressure on her to exercise on top of doing her homework, helping out around the house, etc., simply drop an encouraging line when she's active.

Good luck!

Therese Brewitz

-- Therese Brewitz, M.S., is a certified fitness and aerobics trainer, who also has extensive training in ballet and Pilates instruction.

Last updated July 29, 2009
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